Part of the Crowd, but Apart From the Crowd
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I had an experience on a recent winter’s weekend evening that brought my latest multiple sclerosis (MS)–related slips into stark relief.
We were at a neighbors’ house for an impromptu simple dinner party of pizza, salad, and wine. It was a relatively recent group of friends, as we all met soon before the COVID-19 pandemic, and we all know how friendships didn’t have much growing time during that mess.
Anyway, we’ve all grown in our individual and group friendships in the past couple of years, post-lockdown. This was to be an easy get-together before the madness of the holidays, which we all know is coming.
Between fatigue and some recent issues with pain, I was very happy to bring a few bits to the party, and then just sit and enjoy everyone’s company, rather than any one of us fussing too much.
The Real Action Was in the Kitchen
This house has an unusually open floor plan for an Irish house. The sitting room, dining room, and kitchen all run together. So no matter where I was in the space, I wasn’t too far from the action.
I seated myself in front of the fire and enjoyed both the company of the dogs (theirs and ours), and a cocktail was delivered from the kitchen.
Conversations ensued. As we all know, however, the real buzz before dinner at a party is in the kitchen. It was me and the dogs and then everyone else.
Banter was good (and the cocktail even better), but I did miss being in the midst of the action. Standing in the kitchen, however, wasn’t in the cards that night.
Then It Was Over by the Fireplace
Everyone topped a pizza to their liking to be baked and shared. I relinquished the building of my pie to someone else (with a few suggestions) and moved myself to the table as things came closer to being ready. Even that move was painful — for me to make and for others to watch.
When dinner was over and everyone retired to the fireside, I stayed at the table and engaged in the conversation from there. That the wine bottles were still on the table made for a steady relay of players to the table anyway.
Finally, however, one friend noted that I was too far from the conversation. He had also observed my difficulty in making it from the fire to the table earlier in the evening. He helped me up from the table and into a comfortable chair without drawing (too much) attention to my need for help.
Reflections on a Night Out With MS
We ended the evening earlyish and all made our way into the dark. Upon reflecting on the night, I have come to a couple of conclusions that might be helpful to those of us with MS as the winter holidays approach.
- We can still be part of the party even if we’re not fully immersed in it as we once may have been.
- MS can take us out of and away from enough without us helping it along by staying away.
- A good friend with strong arms is invaluable in just about every situation.
- Pizza, salad, wine, and friends will always be a good combination!
Wishing you and your family the best of health.
Cheers,
Trevis
My new book, Living Well with Multiple Sclerosis, is available for preorder on Amazon. Follow me on the Life With MS Facebook page, and read more on Life With Multiple Sclerosis.
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